bam!
first week of work has FINALLY ended.my work schedule is 7am to 5pm daily.
well, as usual, i don't knock off at 5pm exactly.
things weren't smoothly run nor it was on my side.
teaching 60over children in a day is tough.
repeating lessons in a day is tough.
watching 60 over children in a day is tough.
answering and making 60 over children understand what i say is tough.
managing children is tough.
teaching children is tough.
it was really,
dreadful.
tiring.
i felt ups and downs in my stomach the entire week.
flushed, almost vomitted, headache & brain dead.
what more could you expect?
it wasn't really what i expected, still it was mentioned to be 'relief teaching'
it turned out to be 'form teaching'
N2's english based lessons and activities are all under me.
perfect!
it brought be unhappiness, stress & breakdown of emotions.
that's how my first week was.
i realised that teaching isn't my forte.
close friends know that i dislike interacting and stuff.
so what makes you think that i can do so in this field?
i really doubt being in this field of teaching is my job.
i had no intentions to work previously, but thanks to my own mistakes of wanting to work cos people around me are working.
i realised i didn't have to do so.
was it even God's idea for me to work?
perhaps not.
i brought this to myself, i need to end it myself.
God please forgive me and learn to follow your directions!
2nd thoughts about entering wheelock runs through my mind.
wandering if i've made the right choice.
but if i don't do so, what will i be doing?
diploma will bring me no where unless i work in centres.
it'd be a terrible choice for me.
i don't have a whole load of energy and mental strength to excite in that kinda life!
but i'll go the path God has planned.
Father, please show me the way you've crafted.
if wheelock isn't the way you want me to go, Father let me know.
bring me to where Lord you want me to be, for you have great plans for me.
amen!
as this week ends, we begin to think on Good Friday.
Matthew chapter 21 to 27 reads more of it.
He has been amazing and yes, He died on the cross with His precious blood that washed away our sins.
that's how much His unconditional love for you and me is.
love you Father.
posted by denise @ 8:25:00 PM
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